The Switch Goes Off

Pyttipanna by Nilli

In 1996 I developed what the Centers for Disease Control labeled “chronic fatigue syndrome.” Since 1996, American doctors have labeled my illness as chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic Lyme disease, borrelliosis, and bartonella. The Aussie ones call it M.E., or myalgic encephalomyelitis. Whatever the label, the signs and symptoms are legion, and include: brain fog, rash, disequilibrium, nerve pain, asthma, indigestion, headache, and so on.

My husband and I, both doctors and epidemiologists, understood in ‘96 that the CDC label meant nothing and might include as many as five new illnesses. We also recognized that it meant that CDC was finally responding to the quiet epidemics that did not offer horrifying spectacles, and could be eased into the twilit world of chronic illness, which defines, divides, colonizes, and eases the realm of illness through complex systems of care.

When the Centers for Disease Control issued criteria for the diagnosis of “chronic fatigue syndrome”, the stigma attached to the condition eased. Even so, doctors didn’t know what to do about it. Because I knew that, I was able to embark on a self-guided, empirical quest for healing and cure. I tried a wide variety of ancient and modern treatments and practices from high-dose antibiotics to tantric meditation to intravenous glutathione to probiotics.

While searching for healing, I was surprised at the inability of my carers to communicate with each other. Most had learned one way of looking at the body, and together were like the blind men and the elephant: each was aware only of the part that they held and all were unable to see the whole. To comprehend my care, I became an accidental practitioner of theoretical medicine. I synthesized ancient and modern ideas of the body into the sevenfold paradigm, and devised a system for self-guided healing. The system continues to heal me, but it has not cured me.

Last fall, I came down with several viral infections in a row. Afterwards, I sank into a flare of my illness from which I have yet to recover. Having been away from care for a time, I decided to consult Dr. Fernando Vega, who has offered integrative care for thirty years. He faced the unknown mystery of illness with me, listened thoughtfully, and offered kind and gentle advice, the most important aspect of which was to pursue a hypoallergenic diet supported by a supplement called Alpha ENF.

Fasting Buddha

After some weeks on the diet, and three days on Alpha ENF only, I felt tired but relieved. When I ate again the next day, I was symptom free. The symptoms that had turned on in 1996 turned off. I was energetic. I was well. To my astonishment, I was cured–for the day. What a revelation! My symptoms were all related to digestion. Cure was within my reach, and so was hazard.

Unfortunately, I awoke that night with a flare of illness. I lay awake in pain as cure slipped away, leaving behind the realization that eating and digestion caused all my symptoms. What a predicament! Eating and digestion are also the source of life and health. Could I find a way to eat without triggering illness? Inspired by a temporary cure, I decided to try for a permanent one, and gave myself three years to find it.